I'm Weird

I want to heal all the stitches and fill my heart with a joy that puts a smile onto my face for decades.

But,

I want to drench more into streams of sadness caused by my past where we were making up the one, demolishing all the boundaries that could split up apart.

I want to be famous, appreciated, rewarded.

But,

I want to be below average, one known by no one, bothered by no one. 

I want to walk the streets where everyone wants a glimpse of me.

But,

I want to be known by nobody but you, the single you.

I want to be powerful who could get anything done by anyone with a mere gesture of his eyebrows.

But,

I want to ache more for your single glimpse.

I want to control the world.

But,

I want my every single move controlled by you, sighing long before falling asleep, craving for a cup of coffee made by you for centuries.

I want to be happy enough to lock every sorrow of this world into an unseen place that never finds me again.

But,

I want to taste our incomplete conversations in the back of my throat every night quoting every single second of my life into utter bitterness.

I want to sleep long without anything interrupting me for months.

But,

I want to crave for you every night, wishing to have you by my side twisting legs and sharing breathes. 

I want a thousand sleepless nights burning every drop of my blood wishing you to be part of my life.